A blog of my feelings…ranging from commenting about other's blogs to commenting about stuff which happens in life and from posting mails which I like, to ranting on stuff.

This is yet another mail fwd.. here goes!

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the
greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you’re doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Share this with your twenty-something friends…. maybe it will help someone feel like they aren’t alone in their state of confusion…

We call it the “Quarter-life Crisis”

Posted via web from Suksy’s posterous

Life is full of decisions.

If you remember your initial days in a job, most of us would have been taken through some soft-skills training named Decision Making and Problem Solving. (Or is it the other way round???)

I always thought I was a sucker at decision making and I underwent this soft-skills training twice, once with my entire team who had joined and the second time, by requesting for it. Undoubtedly, the training helped me. The training did not help me to take decisions.. It taught me that I always used to take decisions; but my problem was that I did not know I was taking decisions.

For ex: Undergoing the training the second time too was a decision that I took.

The training also taught me that Decision Making was easy, but sticking on to the decision was tough. When you have to take a decision, stick on to it and if you face any hardships, you should not repent that you took the decision – I guess this is the toughest part.

I am now sure that I was not the only person who sucked at decision making. Almost everyone whom I know take decisions unknowingly, and quite a few of them repent at taking such a decision. Taking a wrong decision, at times, is fun.

It was just once that I had to travel from Basaveshwaranagar, Bangalore to Srinagar, Bangalore. The easiest route was to go through Vijayanagar, Mysore Road,  Hosakerehalli (Pipeline) Main Road, Girinagar and Srinagar. But I actually goofed up on one road. Instead of crossing over into a galli, and reaching the Vijayanagar main road, I missed that galli and took a decision of continuing on Magadi Road. Though that road ensured that I reached Mysore Road through the ORR and Kengeri, I travelled an extra 30 kms. The total distance from my house to Srinagar is 11 kms. That day, me and my friend took 42 kms! All coz of a decision. Now, normal people might repent on the decision of travelling an extra 30 kms in a Kinetic Honda coz that would mean an extra liter of petrol. Both me and my friend just laughed at the decision and thought about it as a good road to rip in a bike rather than a Kinetic Honda!

So, as I was mentioning, there are decisions that we take and laugh about our decision.. but not repent about it. How many of you would have done the same? I am sure you would have cursed me if I had taken you guys in this route rather than in the short cut!

Another decision was about my career. From being in operations in a wonderful company to switching jobs to a not so known company and continuing in operations, to taking a parallel shift in career into the sales function / business development function and liking it to making this my career path now is fun. All my friends / colleagues / relatives ask me what made me to take this decision. It was a decision to change jobs. I am not telling here that I took these decisions all by myself. I have consulted a few people who have guided me in my career path so far, but then, the decision maker was me!

As they say, 1 man can drag a horse to the water, not even 1000 people can make it drink. I am the man and the horse here.. and no matter what people say, it is my decision that I stick on to!

To blog or not to blog is also a decision.. and the topics to blog about, how to go about with those topics, how much of “personal” information to divulge, how to get people to read my blog and comment on it… etc etc.. all involve Decision Making.

After quite a long while, I finally decided that I would not let some-one’s actions and chats and attitude cause disturbance to me. I have successfully lost touch with her. No more orkutting, no more facebooking, no more linked-in, no more gtalk with her. I used to hate her attitude and this makes me feel relieved. I dunno if she reads my blog. Even if she did, I do not know if she would relate herself here. Even if she related that it was her that I am referring to, I do not care. It is just that I am happy. There are quite a lot of ways that she can get in touch with me (if she wants to) which will make me find out more ways to stay away and stay out of touch! All that this took was just one decision.

I love the way decisions make my life far more smooth and happy!

I don’t suck at decisions anymore now.. But the repercussions of the decisions and the arguments that I enter into at home and coz of the decisions make it all worthwhile.

Have you ever had the wonderful incident to take a decision among two very rosy choices? And if so, what were the choices and the decisions that you took? Have you ever repented on taking any decisions? Do let me know either by commenting or by mailing me at suksy@suksy.com.

Till the next time that I take a decision about  a topic to blog about.. ciao…….

I guess this might be a controversial topic that I am blogging about, but hell, here goes. This is just my opinion and there might be a lot of people who agree or disagree to me. If I know myself well enough, this is not going to be a one-sided opinion. I have multiple views on the same and I am just trying to put them across.

NOTE: I have worked in a BPO as an executive, I have also worked in a software company and am currently working in a Services and Solutions Company. Whatever I might write here are my experiences in life and my views and thoughts about the same and CANNOT BE GENERALIZED TO ALL THE GIRLS OR ALL THE BPO’S!!! Also, this is a view of me only and has nothing to do with my present or past employers.

In order to give a better idea of what I am trying to point out here via this blogpost, just do a google search for “BPO Girls” and one of the top results would lead to a website having some girls wearing skimpy outfits and dancing in a discotheque in Pune. Though the company name is mentioned, I would not like to mention the same here. You could notice girls in compromising positions with guys and the total term given to this set of photos (or album, if u want to term it that way) is BPO Girls!!!

This is heights… Does this mean all girls who work in BPOs would have this attitude which is “Un-Indian”???

Talking abt “Un-Indian” attitude, what is “Un-Indian”? No, I am not supporting / talking abt ShivSena or Mutalik or the RSS here. By the term “Un-Indian” attitude I mean to point out all those activities which WOULD HAVE RAISED an eyebrow of their parents. Please note that I am not telling that it is wrong to “flaunt” your freedom and show your modern thoughts. Nor am I telling that I do it or that it is right. I am taking a neutral stance as of now!

We have a lot of girls working in the BPO who are working in a BPO for the sake of supporting their families. I personally know a few people who have quit their wonderful professions and have joined a BPO coz they can get a better salary and perks. So, I hope it is clear now that all the girls in the BPO Industry would not be interested to “flaunt” their freedom and “capacity” to spend money partying every weekend.

Now, before someone actually starts wondering as to why I started this blogpost specifically to girls and even more so to girls working with BPOs, I was recently told by a person, a “so-called” friend of mine; that girls in the BPO Industry and who do Night shifts would lose their charm and can be viewed only with lust in the eyes for some physical/sensual pleasure and not for a good relationship. I got enraged and am still enraged. How could he even think about a girl like that? Did the Industry deserve this for having tried to help the girl earn her bread and butter? I would not say so!

I have had many a friend in a BPO and my first “relationship” was with a girl in my first company. How the relationship progressed and ended is not related to this blogpost. I did love her, I even do feel for her currently, but unfortunately, the feeling which was mutual is now a one-sided feeling and she has moved on, for the better or worse, I have no idea and I am not bothered. All that I know is that I still would love to get back in touch with her and be her friend atleast, if not anything more! I’ve dreamt about her and I still can recall her smiling face when I close my eyes.. Babe, I miss u now!!!

Now, this would have to actually make me feel that the girls of a BPO would play with the emotions of a guy and leave him “high and dry” (in whatever way you consider this term ) But no, I have also interacted with many people who have stayed true to their hearts, to their friends and boyfriends and girlfriends and they have moved on together in their careers/life.

Also, take a note of this fact. Most of the BPOs, say 95%, would have a dedicated “Employee Relations” team and only a few software companies, say 35%, would have one. This shows how much BPOs care about their staff. Unfortunately, the entier BPO Industry is a victim of ever increasing attrition rates and there is no recession to the employee in a BPO. Probably, s/he might be not having her/his appraisals done on time, but s/he would get all the facilities, the incentives, bonuses and everything that the company owes her/him ontime.

Coming back to the basic discussion, are girls who work in a BPO fit only for a physical/sensual relationship? I disagree. Yeah, there are a few girls in the BPO Industry who move freely with guys, smoke, booze, date, get physically intimate and move on, change partners and do the same thing all over again, but this term cannot be generalized.

You look at it this way. These freely moving girls who smoke, booze, date, get physically intimate and move on, change partners etc are there in all the industries. Haven’t there been these one off incidents in the manufacturing industry? Haven’t there been these incidents happening in the so called “very private” garment industry? Or the Governmental Organizations? Or the Quasi Governmental Organizations? Or even in software companies? So, why do you point this to the BPO Industry in specific? Just coz the entire crowd that is in a BPO industry is young? Why are you biased towards the youth who are able to stand on their own legs, independent, have some money to flaunt it and are mature enough to take their own decisions? Is this coz you are jealous that you were not able to do this earlier??? By “You”, I am pointing out to the “general public” who has this opinion.

I had a discussion with a friend of mine on this topic and this is how the discussion progressed:

me: hey, can i ask u something?
she: sure…
me: what do you feel when you look at someone treating a girl with just lust or what do you feel when they tell that a particular girl is not worth to be loved but only lusted at?
she: hmm…it’s degrading to any person – guy or girl to be just lusted at. it happens I suppose, but to be told that, makes a person feel thats the only character of theirs others find worthy. it overshadows other worthy characters of a person
me: hmm, wht if it is being generalized to an entire industry? or an entire group? say “bangalore girls” etc etc
she: that’s just categorization,
oh I was a victim of the bangalore girl phenomena to the extent that…
during the introduction session at university,
I said I was from Bangalore…
and the conversation went like this
senior : Do u drink?
me : no
senior : smoke?
me : no
senior : party?
me : no
senior : ur really from bangalore?

me: hehehe, that wud happen
in fact, i have to admit this
being from mysore, in college, i thought bangalore “chicks” are too modern and hot.. but then, realized that we were under some wrong assumptions.. and thankfully for me, this realization happened just within a week of being in bangalore
in 2K2
she: he hee..
theres another bangalore too – the day to day , no glamour one
me: yeah the “normal” bengaluru
which has more than 75% of the crowd
but the other 25% is hell bent on giving it a bad name
she: ah, I wudnt classify drinking and partying as abnormal – thats just a matter of choice right…
me: that is true
drinking and partying or smoking is not abnormal
she: another generalisation abt youngsters who drink n party – they must be leading abnormal lives
me: but considering someone who does that as “loose” women is wrong
she: i know enuf who do , are happy and normal as the next person,  true…agree

So, I was, am and probably will not be wrong in my feeling that being a BPO girl or working for a BPO does not make you feel low or not.. on the contrary, you should be really proud of being who you are..

You are what you are… none or nothing ought to change that fact of life!

Please stop stooping so low and generalizing this to an industry which has been giving India revenues and valuable Forex. I would be giving my views of the entire BPO Industry in another blogpost..So, please let me know your views by leaving your valuable comments.