A blog of my feelings…ranging from commenting about other's blogs to commenting about stuff which happens in life and from posting mails which I like, to ranting on stuff.

There are a lot of questions which are unanswered and which tend to remain unanswered. Though it is true that people ask questions only if they have answers within themselves and they want the answers to be verified by a different person, it is also true to state that if someone is in doubt, it is better that they get it clarified rather than continuing in the same doubt.

As the saying goes, “People might consider a fool if you ask a question, but you would remain a fool throughout if you don’t ask it”.

As one of my ex bosses was mentioning, every question has an answer, but to give out a convincing answer to people is the challenge. Here are a few questions that I have the answers, but not convincing answers. I need not answer the questions to anyone else but myself.

Why do people go through uncomfortable situations in life? It might be uncomfortable to them personally or psychologically, or it might be uncomfortable to those people who are close to them. Isn’t there a control over life that one can exercise and get rid of these uncomfortable situations?

Not that they want to go through these uncomfortable situations, but they feel that they do not have any other option other than undergoing these turbulence. The truth is far from this. I feel that every person will have the chance to steer his/her life the way he/she wants, but unfortunately will not be alert to notice the warnings and will realize his/her follies after he/she learns the lesson the hard way.

Why do people take someone else for granted and think that he/she would be flexible enough to be molded into the way that the other person desires? It might be a good friendly gesture or it might be fun intended, but the gestures and the intentions should be taken in the right spirits. Unfortunately, most of us repeat this mistake often and take people and their help / friendliness / guidance / advice / moods / minds / emotions for granted and play around with them.

It is not that we willfully do it, but we tend to ignore the first signs of uncomfortableness that we notice the other person facing due to us. And when we notice the situation that the other person is facing and we realize that we have been the cause for a considerable amount of misfortune that the other person is undergoing, no matter how many apologies are expressed, they will always fall short of. As the saying goes, a stitch in time could save nine. Unfortunately, in the saying, Time is a qualitative aspect and can be measured in various means by various people. So, by the time I realize that I am supposed to put a stitch, it might be too late. Or I would be stitching (patching up) my relationships without any reason which would cause people to assume that I have a guilt in me and I have some wrong intentions in my mind which is making me patch up.

There are a few more questions which I might put it as a different blogpost, but this last question is the one that will definitely evoke an argument… so, here goes!

Why do people “network” socially virtually? If you meet them in person, would they network with you in such a free way? What is the benefit of social networking, other than just time pass? Yeah, getting to know people, increasing your “network” of “friends” is all nice. But how many are actually “friends”? Since this is the virtual era, like having “pen-pals” in the age-old days of the normal India post, we have twitter friends, facebook friends, orkut friends etc. I am friends with many unknown people. No doubt that it would be nice when we catch up with each other, but would it be really possible to catch up with these “virtual” friends with all the busy schedules that everyone has? I have my own doubts. There are so many people in Bangalore who are “friends” with me on some or the other social network, but I am sure that I have not met so many of them, though staying in the same city as them. Would it be really worth wasting time on social networking?

Recently, I had this argument with a friend of mine as to whether social networking is beneficial or not. To give you a background, Let me admit that it has been quite a lot of days since I was “active” on twitter. I never even logged on, nor opened tweet-deck and even checked what is happening in the twitter timeline. In a sense, you can term it as a check as to whether people would notice me being absent from twitter. I guess a few close friends did, but definitely not all my followers / followees. I also restrained from posting new posts on my blog or on facebook and wanted to stay away from the “virtual society” of “friends” on my social networking sites.

This is yet another mail fwd.. here goes!

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the
greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you’re doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Share this with your twenty-something friends…. maybe it will help someone feel like they aren’t alone in their state of confusion…

We call it the “Quarter-life Crisis”

Posted via web from Suksy’s posterous

I have been having an amazing experience while coming to the office in my cab. As can be generalized, all my previous cab drivers were scumbags. Trying to squeeze their cab into a place which would be tough for even a two-wheeler… (okay, am exaggerating.. but you know what I mean) . This particular driver, who was assigned our route is completely opposite to the other cabbies.

He is more CONSIDERATE! Yeah, that is the word.. considerate. He considers people, dogs, cats, squirrels, other vehicles and also the people inside his cab, their schedules, their timings etc. It is a pity that he is assigned only the night shift and only a pick-up to office during the day shift, but this kind of driving is really to be praised.

Just a few points that I observed and I feel I have to mention here:

No honking et all: Not even necessary honking.. forget unnecessary honking. The realization that no matter how much you honk, if the traffic in front of you is not moving, you cannot move. And also, the realization that no matter you honk or not, you will move in your own pace and cannot fly on the streets of Bangalore.

Go and let go: Go when you have space on the roads.. go fast.. but not rash, let others go if they want to go fast and you realize that you are obstructing their path

Consider every other being while driving: Today morning, There was this person lifting some 12 Nandini milk crates and trying to cross the road. There were 3 BMTC buses coming, none of them cared to stop and let this person cross the road. There was a Govt. of Karnataka car which had a minister sitting inside (I recognized the minister, but I dont want to mention his name) and the driver narrowly avoided bumping into this man. There were people driving their kids to school, there were school vans filled to the brim with school kids and none of them stopped, or even paused to let this guy go. Our cab driver, Manjunath, did not bother about the traffic behind him, he stopped, asked this guy to cross the road and then, we came to the office. This is just an example. The same attitude was displayed towards a very old man driving a scooty near Forum Mall, and a small kid crossing the street at Adugodi.

These small minute acts are very much needed in life. I am fortunate to have the experience of interacting with some such people in life. This cab driver is the third driver who is so considerate, the other two being in Mysore.

I am actually wondering something…. Almost daily, I come across some “educated” and “well settled” folks fighting with each other over some accident and all of them being in their own rush hours without having the time to enjoy their surroundings, but not realizing that whatever they do, they would reach their destination at the time that they usually reach. Even if the roads are free or they are choc-a-bloc with traffic. If they are destined to go to some place at some time, that is what they do. If that is the case, why hurry?

These folks would be in mid-management or senior management positions having sedans and SUVs and would be competing with cab drivers and BMTC bus drivers over the ownership of the road and over who is going to reach the destination faster. What they miss out is that no matter what they do, it is the same time and it is not only their own lives but also the lives of the passers by and their families that would be in danger. Instead of rushing at the last moment, what major loss would happen if they leave the house about 15 minutes earlier? I am sure that every 5 minutes makes a lot of difference, esp. in namma Bengaluru Traffic. If they leave their houses 15 minutes earlier, they have ample time to enjoy their surroundings as well as reach office in a tension free way.

Life is a similar journey.. all are traveling. If you hurry towards the goal, you would miss on all the beautiful things in life. So, better relax and let things happen at their own pace. At the end of it, everyone reaches the same destination…. Ain’t it?

Have a goal, work towards it and make it a reality, but at the same time, do not lose out on life’s small pleasures and offerings.